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the end of kerrie, the birth of nadine

Part II

I could feel the sunburning into my shoulders, deep, searing sunshine, making an impression on my skin as it moves across the cloudless skies.
You feel so much more with your eyes closed. It's almost as if when opened, eyes mean nothing. Every kiss, every tear, every moment of passion is completed with closed eyes.
at that moment, i could feel the scene unfolding around me. Sitting on a mile long beach of white smooth untouched sand, listening to the ocean rise and fall steadily without breaking waves onto the shore, imagining the fisherman pulling his boat up to the jetty, trying to block out the tourist behind me arguing with the bartender for an umbrella in her pina collada. Surrounded by the stillness and unmatched tranquility of paradise, i tried to calm the rage inside me.
I opened my eyes and winced at the sharpness of the sunshine. Alone, burning in the sun, i felt lost and hollow, like a dead tree trapped in a deep forest, someplace unknown. This is what I had become, a shell of my former self. A human viod of humanity.
With jerky movements i get up off the sand, wipe away the grains sticking to my legs, place my bag over my shoulder, and made my way along the beach to my mom's office on Front Street. I craved the steely coolness of the air condition, prickling my burnt shoulders.
I have yet to find the words to tell you what this story is based on. A dark moment in my life, what i write now is all i can see.

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