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friends don't let friends eat other people's snot


sometimes i wonder about my friends. i wonder where i found them and what makes them so important to me. if i close my eyes, i can see a huge circular room with glass containers all the way around. in each container i put a different friend. once in a while containers merge for a short time, but eventually they all go back to their own spot, sectioned off and protected from the rest of my life.

I can remember my very first real friend. He was imaginary and i could make him anyone i wanted him to be. One day i tried to turn him into She-Ra, but this was too much of an identity crisis for him so he left. Since then i have had better luck.

If anyone still has a friend from primary school, congratulations! those are the hardest ones to keep. mostly because during that age period you are trapped amongst bullies or are a bully yourself, and each relationship whether based on feminine dynamics or the monkey dynamics of men, is full of pure shit,crayons and plastercene,and not much else.

i met my best friend in high school. She hit me over the head with a guitar, made me walk backwards around an almond tree, made me switch skirts with her in the bathroom, watched me kiss numerous boys behind the reverend house, ran after me while i chased chickens through the school, watched me bully, torment and annoy the hell out off students of every age, let me make her sweep grass around the school with a rake in a brief moment of power... and still stuck by me.

that's what real friendship is made off: a pile of grass and a broken guitar.

and not everyone has it. if you look around and see people who hang around you because they need someone to lime with or someone to kill the hours with, or need a lift or a loan, you have a severe parasite problem.. get some Bop.

at 28 i never imagined i'd find the engery or have enough still to offer, to be able to find more true friends.
but in 2006, three really good friends pelt deyself vaps so into my life.

the first one was bent over a copier outside my office at fpatt and i spent about 15 minutes staring at her fantastic ass while she tried to copy outreach forms on legal paper. after staring at her rear end for about a month i finally decided to make my move.

"psst, aye"

"yes? me?"

"yea you (bitch in my mind)"

she comes waltzing into my office.

"so where u from?"

"norrth carrolina"

"de ass"

"huh"

"nothing..."

silence

i'd like to say she let me grab the ass, but something better happened. she became a great friend that will stand the test of my testicle filled lifetime.

(stay tuned for part 2 & 3, my brain just start snoring loudly)


Comments

Unknown said…
Two in one day, what was the inspiration today? Waiting for part 2 and 3 eagerly.
4:33 pm, February 21, 2007
kyle anthony said…
testicle filled lifetime ?................really...........necessary ?
12:37 am, February 22, 2007
Unknown said…
yea.. as opposed to vagina filled lifetime
4:38 am, February 22, 2007
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