Skip to main content

The Vagina Collaboration

I sat there staring at them for quite a while. I really couldn't help it as they sat there staring right back at me. My first thought was to run. Grab my handbag, whip out the car keys, jump in de Lancer and zoom back down the highway. Lord knows why didn't, but when a plastic vagina and a rubber penis are perched delicately on the desk of your new job, you tend to think irrationally. So I sat staring for quite a while.

A nurse came into my office, dropped off some papers, mentioned something about a meeting and without so much as a glance at my company, she waltzed right back out the door. I glanced around my new office and wondered what I was going to make of this job. It certainly wasn't banking and it most definitely was not the Trinidad Guardian. What it was, it seemed, was an adventure about to start.

I smiled and picked up my new penis. Wobbling a bit, it seemed to represent my future. The vagina, sitting quietly on my desk made a little sound as if to say, " what about me?" All I could think was, " Time to dust of the cobwebs chica!"

Giving her a swift wipe with a paper towel, I removed most of the dust that had settled over her in the past few years. The penis, didn't have that much to wipe off. I placed them facing each other. Outside, I could hear the nurse yelling at Ricardo the "stock boy" that he forgot, once again to order gloves and disinfectant.

Very gingerly I placed the penis inside the vagina. I tried to grin at my little game then realised the penis was stuck. Having not used any lubrication or protection, I panicked! Jesus Christ! Trust the Indian chick from south to get a rubber penis stuck in ah plastic vagina.

Racing to the bathroom, I submerged them both in water, tugging at the penis, but to no avail. De ass dred...

Quietly and calmly, I went back into my office and closed the door. I opened a filing cabinet, placed them inside and shut the drawer, proceeding to give them their privacy for the next two years.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Hello To the Rest of my Life

I slowly traced my name in the sand. Around me I could hear the waves come to life from a night of dark calmness. 7 am, reading on Sunset Beach was never a place or time I expected I’d ever be. I looked out onto the water and saw him swimming. Above him a plane painstakingly maneuvered its way to the runaway behind me. I braced myself for the sudden gush of wind that would follow its taxi. The sun streamed down on my shoulders as I sat daydreaming. I felt completely content… not a worry, not a care, not a reason to stress, perfect calm. I watched the wind blow lightly over my name etched in sand and I began thinking back over the last few days. I mapped a situation in my head that never unfolded. From the crazy little clues he kept leaving for me to the final invitation for lunch at the lighthouse, I began to imagine myself being pushed over the edge of the cliff by the swift fluid movement of his palm. Fear began to set in. The ride to Grand Revere was full of laughter and singing, wi...

Just a Little Scrunter

Even at 7 am, the streets were filled with music. It was like everyone around wanted to shout in some way that the year was almost over, soon it would be time to dust off the Christmas tree and swap the normal curtains for the special Christmas ones. The Corner of Frederick and Park had a special feeling surrounding it. Inside Excellent Plaza, you could see the decorations being hung at Emdad's , ready for the next wave of Christmas enthusiasts to come in and grapple over the price for a few glass angels and furry lint covered santas . I love the smell that some from Charlotte Street during December. A smooth, fresh mix of rum, cigarette smoke, roast pork, pastelles and puncha creme wafts through the air and around the corners of each street it intertwines with, making shoppers dizzy and slightly crazy. I remember times I would walk along Brian Lara Promenade, from Royal Bank to Roytec , the sound of parang coming from Excellent City Centre ( de bigger one before it burnt d...
Nothing gives me pleasure more than stealing books. Whether i take them from a library or an individual, the thrill is the same. And if someone is willing to actually lend me a book with the expectation i will return it when i am done, the thrill increases tremendously. When I was around 5 my mom seemed to catch on to this. After theffin about five of my aunt's Miles and Boon from de cardboard box under the step by aunty Mels , and trying real hard to sniff out the bookworms, and finally attempting to chew the pages, my mom bought me my first set of real books to devour on my own. It is a beautiful set of Sesame Street Encyclopedias! Complete with a run through every country by Oscar and Telly Monster soap operas.. i was in love. She followed this with a set of Junior Britannica Encyclopedias and a junior scrabble. I wonder what she was pullin , because i was outside making mud cakes with baby powder icing to feed Ren and Mimi, under the two table horse covered by ah curtain ...