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One with Everything

My first move was to run down de road and buy a pink and grey yoga mat. I was very excited about my first yoga class. I pictured a group of people standing in front the Taj Mahal in dotis and wife beater vests, the wind blowing lazily, and Mahatma Ghandi directly us in unison to become the change we want to see in the world.

I already had my outfit picked out. My blue hemp rasta t shirt, black tights and pink slippers. I walked up de road with my mat and bottle of water and into the classroom. Looking around, I tried not to react outwardly to what I saw. The little guy to my left decked in nylon tights, squashing his balls into the crease of his pelvic bone and thigh, the guy next to him coming up to about my waist in height, covered in tattoos from the tips of his ears to his knees; the surfer in board shorts trying to look like he walked into "how to be a dickhead 101"; the lady who needed 4 mats...

I was so excited! These are my people, where have they been hiding! I got ready to be enthralled. The instructor walked in...a 45 year old woman who was the most gorgeous thing I've seen in Sydney yet... the butt, the boobs... yum yum!

She came to the middle of the class and proceeded to direct us in a sequence of moves I will later come to call the Dance of the Dotish Dheytis. As the class went on , i realised I had found my new obsession, this was for me, the moves, the music, the feeling, everything I needed to adjust to life in Australia. A little bit of madness to call my own.

I let my mind wonder, thinking of all the lovely yoga clothes I could get to make this worthwhile and the candles and incense I will need to invest in...

"FARRRRRRRRRRRRT"

I open my eyes to see everyone looking at me.

...wuh...de...ass
I tried to convey with my actions and my eyes that it wasn't me, but the lady with the four mats who probably tried to muffle the sound between them. It was no use... I could see it... I would always be the farter girl...

So ever day I trek the long 2 minutes to the yoga centre and become one with everything. A place that has become my inner Kerrie, a place where no one can make me feel unworthy, a place that brings my fantasy right beside my reality..

Comments

Joanne said…
Farter girl!!! HAHA! ROTFLMAO! :D
"a place that brings my fantasy right beside my reality.." whoosh! check diction nah!

-Joanne...de hayshun sensayshun one.
12:19 pm, April 02, 2009
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